3rd jar of thoughts going into the substack pantry! I think I’m gonna pickle these 4 the next winter. happy almost-end of January? it is midterm weekend and I am in hell.
paused an English assignment rewrite (which I paused a comp sci project for) to write this. I just missed you all. this one may be a shorter one than the usual due to the prev mentioned exams et cetera. (no promises, tho. also gl on tests projects if u have them!) anyway! I’ve begun this folder in my notes app of journal entries when I remember to write them. (btw, contrary to belief, I am not a notes app poet. I am primarily a graph paper poet.) anyway, here r a few of my favorites thus far:
quite into the fact that no one knows what I am talking about besides &/or including myself. I’ve been writing little things and forgetting about them so often—and then I read them back and go “so true. I am but an apostrophe and a hyphen!” (naturally). I enjoy nonsense couple(t)s. on the topic of things I enjoy! here r good things:
“Postcards From the Living” by Jenny Qi, cool monsters, more of the video essay esque, playing Solitaire on the bus, Chet Baker
these gummies! I love the yuzu ones. literally my entire childhood. who else
I have made my bedroom floor my general residing area! for naps and hw and drawing and the like. it is not good for my already terrible joints. between this and the Solitaire and my general interests, I think I am everyone’s resident professional grandfather
Sylvia! I am going thru with it. hello and I adore u and I promise I will finish the novel if not this weekend then over intersession. u bring me lots of joy
words including but not limited to [ cobble, foal, threshold, tender, estuary ] . yes there is a high chance I will use all of them in my next writing. can you blame me, though? look at this shit! so good
of course, the music of this playlist! still on country funk jazz. the playlist cover art is by Eli Spencer on instagram; such lovely lovely art. & speaking of art, I get to draw huge cacti for my final project for art at school and I am so pleased
re: the title of this newsletter—I have been thinking of the passage of time and then consciously trying to stop. every single time that Time crosses my mind I get dizzy. this is normal. this is okay! I have been cooking to cope, though. (hence, the thyme.) less of big family dinners and more lunch for myself.
some leafy greens. onion. whatever spices and herbs I can get my hands on. at least 3x more garlic than the recipe says (if I happen to be following one). I am thinking of making soup &/or cookies tmrw. send good recipes if u have them! truly. I need something to serve as a tightrope between my rotting brain and the endless canyon hollow of burnout and true madness below.
I have good reason to think that my subconscious has already made said canyon its abode. I’ve never been able to remember my dreams until recently—and the only one I remember is regarding some guy with horns tellin me to eat hummus. I am making a comic on it as we speak. it was a sweet moment. I may be going crazy.
I have placed this letter in ur mailbox and a paper bag with tins of dried herbs on ur doorstep. enjoy! stay toasty, eat well, and the like.
xx Cal
GOOD MORNING TO POEM 06 AND ALSO 2 YOU BELOVED